“Indeed, it’s because God loves us, He sometimes says no.” Lysa TerKeurst
That was the sum of a recent blog by Lysa. Ouch. That one hurts.
Often I am unwilling to see God’s answer no to my desires as being loving on His part. Often I am unable to move beyond my own human reasoning to see a bigger, more holy picture. Often I just plain don’t want to.
As a mom, sometimes I say no to a request because I know my girls aren’t ready or mature enough to participate. Sometimes I say no because I understand that the activity or the others participating aren’t what is best for them. Why then do I question God’s judgment when He does the same with me?
It’s been about ten weeks since my husband and I were asked to resign as leaders from our ministry. Thankfully, there wasn't a moral or ethical failure; just a difference in ministry views and passions. But for the first time in nine years, I wasn't a leader of a Bible study, part of a speaking team, or training leaders for various ministries. I felt lost and abandoned by God.
Yesterday while getting ready for church, I heard the song,"I Am Free" by Jared Anderson. For the first time I realized that I have been whining and wallowing in self-pity instead of seeing this as being freed from the confines that my previous ministry had placed on me. Now, perhaps for the first time in my adult life, I can be exactly who God called and designed me to be--nothing more, nothing less.
Now I have the time to work on my personal character, to study and learn from great leaders God has placed in my path, and relearn the value of humility. And I am learning the value of the discipline of rest. (More on that this week…)
So as painful as this "no" has been, I am thanking Him for it. And I have been asking Him to make sure my character is ready and fully baked for the next step and season of ministry. Because this is just the beginning.
What ‘no’ have you thanked God for lately? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
In pursuit of zoe,